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I got into blogging about music as a form of music therapy. I was tired of boring all my friends with my musical ramblings. But then it turns into more than that. You gain some readers and then use your online presence to introduce the world to awesome new music.
Well, I’m here writing this as a therapy session.
Today we lost one of the most beautifully talented women of rock to the stupid fate of a life that got out of her control. When addiction takes over, it’s a huge challenge to overcome that. I know as a man who has dealt with varying levels of it in my life.
I don’t care who reads this post, I honestly don’t. I’m in no way trying to gain traffic to my blog via this. I could care less about how many hits I get in a day or whatever other bullshit that comes along with being a music blogger. Such as being “first to post” of a new leaked track or some other shit like that. If I wanted to be “first to post” the death of Amy Winehouse I would shut this blog down forever. I just needed to put all of the thoughts that are swirling around in my head down into words.
I remember sitting around with my good friend, Chris Russell (one of the few guys along with my friend Will Tchakirides who I can ramble on about music with) and spinning Back to Black. I actually believe it was Chris who first sat me down and showed me that record and then never could get it off of repeat. As lovers of soul, she brought something amazing into our musical library. I’ll never forget that day and the way her voice and songs made me feel. And then it was my father who excitedly found The Zutons version of “Valerie” after we shared so many listens of Amy’s cut together. So many amazing memories.
I’m sad and mad all at once. Chris and I watched her fall further and further into her habits and just sat there and wished for more music from her. We sadly said “Amy, just give us another album please”. Sounds terrible to think of it on a day like today when the news is so fresh on my mind, but we did. And we never got that other album. (although Will and Chris did point out that we’ll probably get some Jeff Buckley-esque cuts that will get released) But it’s not the same. I wanted her to have another beautiful piece of work that she was proud of to put under her belt.
Hopefully she can be remembered for her amazing talent and not all the media crap regarding her substance issues. It’s a shame that the media had to narrow in on that so much but Amy really did bring it on herself. To get up onstage and give some of those terrible performances made it almost impossible to watch her. Seeing this brilliant band back such a beautiful woman with this one of a kind voice that couldn’t even be performed because of her state of mind. It makes me terribly sad.
Well, I’m not sure what else to say. I’ll leave it with this. I love you and will miss you, Amy. But also, fuck you, Amy and all of her peers, family and friends. Why couldn’t you have done more. The world knew she needed help. And I am obviously not close enough to know what happened but she was 27 for fuck sake. I’m 28 and I’ve had people care and help out for me whenever I’ve started to head down the wrong path. Why couldn’t you have had the same love and help I’ve received in my life?
You will be missed.
Thanks for the music.